4 Things that Keep Leaders Isolated
So I was the drum major of the University of Texas Longhorn Band, the show band of the Southwest, which that means that I was the primary student leader for that 450 person organization. For two years, I got to do this, and it was an unbelievable experience. People often ask me like, oh, so you must have been a really amazing musician to which I immediately respond, no. I was the opposite of that. I actually wasn't wasn't all that great of a musician, and I'm still not.
Alex Judd:But the reason why I got accepted as drum major through a pretty rigorous interview and audition process is because I made the case, standing up against, people that were getting their PhD in music performance going for the position. I made the case that this isn't actually a musicianship role. This is a leadership role. And I said, I've read a bunch of leadership books, but musicianship is never found in any of them. And so I said leadership is all about relationship.
Alex Judd:And so I made a commitment in the interview process. I said, if you select me for this role, I am going to know the name of every single person in the 450 person organization by October 1. I made that commitment. And, I guess they believe me because they selected me for the role. And then sure enough, by October, I had every single name of every single person memorized.
Alex Judd:It wasn't until later that I realized the Longhorn band is 450 people at that time. The campus of the University of Texas is 40,000. So I knew one one hundredth of the campus of the University of Texas. So literally, I would walk to class anywhere, any time of day, and, I mean, it would just be like the guy that's running for president. Right?
Alex Judd:Like, kissing babies, shaking hands, all of that. Right? But here's what's crazy. When I look back on those two years of my life, there was so much that was so good, and God used them in such powerful ways. I was connected to so many people.
Alex Judd:I could talk to so many people about anything, and I knew seemingly everyone, but I was known by no one. And so I was wildly connected but incredibly isolated in that time. I could have small talk conversations with so many people, but I couldn't have deep, real, intentional conversations with hardly anyone. And if I would look back on that period of my college years, I didn't have the appearance of loneliness. I wouldn't have even probably been able to identify myself as lonely.
Alex Judd:But now I look back and I say that guy was really lonely. That guy was really isolated. And so it's why I I have such a heart and, in some ways, empathy for this topic because I just see so many of the business owners and leaders that we coincide with, they're doing what junior and senior year Alex was doing. They are so connected, and they're surrounded by people. And they think that because they're surrounded by people, that means they're not isolated.
Alex Judd:But in reality, the fruit of their life would attest to the fact that they are deeply isolated and alone. And, ultimately, the trajectory that they're on is not going to end well unless something changes. And so that's why I think it's so critical that we dive into this topic here today.
Ben Loy:Yeah. Why is isolation so dangerous?
Alex Judd:Because it's not what we're created for. Right? Genesis says, like, God said, man, it's not good for man to be alone, and he gives Adam Eve. And then later in Acts, it says, do not give up the habit of meeting together as some are in the habit of doing. Right?
Alex Judd:It's like that's talking more about corporate worship and gathering, but the principle remains that we are not created to live this independent, individualistic, separated life. Rather, we were created as a human being to live in community with other human beings. And when we think we're the one that that doesn't apply to because we're in a leadership position or because we own a business or because of the demands on our life or because of the pace we have to move, when we think, oh, that stuff doesn't apply to me, that is the greatest act of pride To say a fundamental God given human need doesn't apply to me is just incorrect. But what's good is God never gives us a need that he doesn't always give us the means to fulfill. Mhmm.
Alex Judd:So it's not like he created this massive gaping hole that we all experience that we don't also have the means to fill. And that's what we're gonna talk about some in this episode is the ability to fulfill this need and be a deeply, deeply connected, fruitful, flourishing human that lives in community with other people that is known and that knows other people is absolutely readily available to everyone right now. Praise god.
Ben Loy:There is a study that was done I heard referenced in a sermon recently, and I think it was the I think it was the CDC announced back in maybe 2018 or 2019. They called it, like, the epidemic of loneliness. Mhmm. And it's so interesting that that happened before the pandemic and before everyone got locked in and virtual work became, you know, way more common, on the back end of that. I I'm just curious.
Ben Loy:What are your thoughts around, like, why is that a more common thing that even had to be labeled in more recent years? And then what are maybe some of the contributors just with the way that our society is set up right now that are that are causing that to be more common?
Alex Judd:Yeah. Well, you know, it's interesting. There's there's all of these, like, blue zone, kind of obsessions going on right now with people increasing their lifespan and increasing the longevity of their life. And people do all of these, like, I mean, kind of outrageous sometimes health things associated with this. But then one of the things that has been identified is if you're doing all these amazing health things, you know, exercise, sleep, eating only Mediterranean food.
Alex Judd:Right? Fish, nuts, veggies. That's it. Right? No preservatives.
Alex Judd:All of this stuff, right, that people are doing, but you're lonely. Loneliness has the equivalent effect on your health in terms of detriment as like smoking a pack of cigarettes. Right? Which is I don't know how they compare the two, but what I do know is, like, it's wildly detrimental not just to our, like, soul being or our emotional being. It's wildly detrimental to our physical being.
Alex Judd:And the word epidemic just characterizes the fact that it's viral. And that's actually really interesting to think about because when something is viral or when something spreads, when something's an epidemic, we saw this in COVID. Right? That it's not just me having COVID only affects me and will only ever affect me. It's like the fact that I have COVID could very likely affect you.
Alex Judd:The fact that I am isolated, if I am isolated, the fact that I close myself off from friendships, that I go into my own hole and live all on my own and don't connect other people. Well, if I did that, I wouldn't be connected to you. And and the other people that are in my life right now, I wouldn't be connected to them. So in some ways, we think about like, oh, it's this individualistic decision that only affects me. And it's like, well, the minute you remove yourself as a node of communication and connection to other people, that absolutely affects other people.
Alex Judd:And so it it's one of the reasons why I think it's really critical as leaders. It's not just an opportunity. It's a responsibility. Like, there are lonely people out there right now. There are isolated people out there right now.
Alex Judd:And you know one way you can help counter that is not being an isolated person yourself. Like, go connect to other people. Be the instigator. Be the person that's proactive about, about saying, hey. It's better that we be together, and we should go about doing that.
Alex Judd:Because everyone's waiting on someone to do that, and and it's gonna be the leaders that actually step up and say, I'm gonna initiate.
Ben Loy:We've kind of laid the map for why this is an important topic, why we're talking about it. What causes isolation?
Alex Judd:Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm no psychologist by any means. Right? And I'm certainly not an expert on this topic. What I can look at is my own experience.
Alex Judd:I would say I I'm wildly connected now in deep ways. I have deep, transparent, authentic relationships. Praise god for that because it's very different from, in some ways, my natural predisposition. Right? Like, my default is not that.
Alex Judd:So it's taken a lot of work to get there. So I can think about what caused it in my past, but then I also can see, and observe patterns and trends in the leaders that I connect with and sometimes have quite deep conversations with that I would say, man, they do struggle with isolation. What is causing that? But then also the leaders that I see walk out of that darkness and into the light, it's like they're always countering some of the same things. So we've got kind of four categories of things that I think represent causes of isolation, particularly in the life of business owners and leaders.
Alex Judd:And it's not like these are just theories. These are what we've observed in the leaders that we work with. They've what they're what we've observed in ourselves, and now we're just kind of putting language to them, if that makes sense. Mhmm.
Ben Loy:Yeah. So what what are they?
Alex Judd:So we'll walk through them high level, and then we can break down each one. There are four s's just to help with memory. It's secrets, speed, and superhero syndrome. So maybe we just start with secrets?
Ben Loy:Yeah. Sounds good to me.
Alex Judd:Yeah. Start start with secrets. Just a light one to get started with. Right? So whenever we hear the word secrets, I think it's helpful in our mind to think about a core emotion associated with secrets, and the core emotion associated with secrets is shame.
Alex Judd:Because what are secrets? Well, secrets are when there are things that you know or regularly think about or do that no one else knows about. And the thing that we have to recognize is secrets by nature are isolating. You cannot have a non isolating secret. It doesn't exist.
Alex Judd:Right? And so when people say, oh, this is just information for me. Right? I don't like, I don't I don't need to share this with anyone. That's actually not true because the minute you say that, you're basically saying, can live in isolation in this area of my life.
Alex Judd:And so what what causes secrets, if we're gonna get to the root root of it, the core emotion is shame. I I like that acronym for shame, should have already mastered everything. I say I like that acronym. I actually hate that acronym, but but it's helpful, right, is what I would say. And that's what drives our secrets is we think I've gotta have it all put together.
Alex Judd:No one can know what I'm really struggling with. No one can know the real challenges. No one can know about this addiction. No one can know about that mistake I made. I've gotta keep that to myself so that the image I present is put together, should have already mastered everything.
Alex Judd:And the problem with that is is the minute you do that, the person that is actually connecting to all of those people in the world isn't actually you because you is the person that no one knows about that you've put away in the closet. And therefore, it's some mess that they're connecting to, but it's definitely not you. And there will always be a hole until you start to actually live out in the open.
Ben Loy:How do you decide who gets, like, to know that information?
Alex Judd:Yeah. Well, that's a a whole podcast question. Yeah. Trust is what I would say. One thing that I have found, and I wanna be careful how I say this because there is certainly such a thing as oversharing.
Alex Judd:Right? And we but I actually think a lot of us, especially if you're listening to this type of content, I actually think you probably struggle with undersharing more than you struggle with oversharing. Right? I used to be more selective with who hears about what's actually going on in my life because I was like, not everyone can handle it. Not everyone deserves to get that information.
Alex Judd:In reality, I was using that as excuses for not being able to share the things that were really challenging or that were weaknesses or that were fallibilities of mine. And I was I was making other people's inability to deal with it or to receive it my excuse for that. Now I'm a lot more liberal, and quite frankly, it's because I I care less about what people think about me as it relates to things that are challenging and stuff like that. I heard this quote recently. Like, quite frankly, it's none of my business what other people think about me.
Ben Loy:This is pretty good. Right? It's amazing what happens when you when you really can stop taking yourself so seriously.
Alex Judd:Yeah. That's right. That's right. Now, obviously, there there should be a circle of trust where you have, like, you know, one to three. Some people have five individuals that are like, you literally are transparent with about everything.
Alex Judd:And I have those people in my life that literally there is nothing you could tell certain people in my life anything about me that they would ever be surprised by. There's not a single thing. And that is so freeing. It's not even funny. And so that level of transparency, I would say trust over time is how you get there.
Alex Judd:But what I would encourage people on is sometimes we're actually protecting ourselves in terms of our image of ourselves more than we're actually protecting our heart and our soul, and that in some ways, people need to loosen their grip on what they're willing to share is what I would say.
Ben Loy:When is a therapist helpful when it comes to secrets, and when could they sometimes maybe increase your ability to stay isolated?
Alex Judd:That's a super good question. I I am not an expert on therapy, so I'm not gonna comment on the industry as a whole. Yeah. What I can comment on is my experience with my therapist who helped me with this a lot. We would talk about things that there was a period of my life where he was the only one that I would talk to about them.
Alex Judd:And what were you gonna say there?
Ben Loy:Oh, no. Just go ahead.
Alex Judd:Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good breath there. Yeah.
Alex Judd:We hit something inside there. That's good. So so there there were things that, like, he was my only person, and I think he responded to that hyper effectively because every time we would have those conversations, he would be like, Alex, who are some people in your life that you think you could start spending really intentional time with that you could start sharing this stuff with? And early on in those conversations, I'd be like, I don't think there is anyone. Like, I'm not sure that I I can think of him.
Alex Judd:And he would just always press back and be like, well, we gotta find some people because you pay me. And, like, if you stop paying me, we're not meeting anymore. And that and that that's you know, you could look at that and be like, that's so rude. That's not rude. That's real.
Ben Loy:That's a good therapist.
Alex Judd:That is a super good therapist that's like keeping the boundaries of the relationship in line and just making sure that I knew where we stand at, which praise God for that. Right? And sure enough, it didn't happen after one week because it was incredibly uncomfortable for me, but I would have him in the back of my head saying, like, you gotta find some people. You gotta find some people. You gotta find some people.
Alex Judd:And then dad gumming, I started to find some people, and I was like, oh my gosh. I don't need a therapist anymore. And I and I was like, I don't think I need to meet with you anymore eventually. And he was like, praise God. We got there.
Ben Loy:Like, we did it. And what we're I guess what you're not saying is, like, your friends shouldn't be your therapist, but therapy, I think, is a space to practice things that maybe you've never never done before and So good. And get the reps in to to try a low risk area where you're like, hey. I I do have some shame and things I need to work through. But the intention is always, like, how do you pull that outside into the rest of your life?
Alex Judd:That's so well said. And then too, because not everyone is a practiced at receiving really messy, challenging, difficult stuff well, you've got, like, a model of, like, okay, well, that person really struggled doing that well, but it's okay. I have grace for that because I know what well looks like. Yeah. And and I don't have to take their fumbles as part of who I am or anything like that.
Alex Judd:The the final thing that I wanna make sure because I know we don't we can't park on secrets for too long is sometimes we can hear the word secrets, and and we can think, oh, that's like that addiction, that affair, that huge thing that I'm keeping hidden away that people don't know about. This podcast gets listened to enough people right now where I would say there's probably someone that is struggling with those things. If you are that person, here's what I will tell you is there is nothing you could do that would catalyze your personal growth more than to start taking conquering that thing seriously? Like, to literally say, I'm stop gonna get distracted by all these other things, all these other books. I'm gonna go get help on dealing with this thing that's this massive holdback.
Alex Judd:And I I say that with a lot of empathy and a lot of grace because I know it's really, really hard. But oftentimes, the thing that's hardest to do is the thing we most need to do if we actually wanna grow. And so if that is you, make that your action out of this podcast is go get help for that thing. But a lot of times, people have moved through that stage, and they think I'm done with secrets now. And what I often see with business owners is secrets take on a much more subversive tone.
Alex Judd:The number of men that are business owners that I have had conversations with that say, oh, I don't wanna share that this is going on in the business with my spouse because I don't wanna scare her. That is a secret. And and because it's a secret, it's isolating. It's isolating for you, but it's also isolating for her. And your role is not to protect your spouse from the truth is what I would remind people of.
Alex Judd:Right? Your role is to provide and protect, but that doesn't mean to lie to them in the process or keep things from them in the process. Our goal is together, like, man, I'm gonna share with you the really challenging things that are going on with regard to the asset that we, not I, we own, And we're gonna talk about those things because it's okay to be scared, but we can figure this out together. And, like, we can have the courage to move forward in spite of our fear, the faith to move forward in in spite of our fear. And when you keep it a secret instead of sharing it, you not only isolate, but you actually rob them of experiencing all of the intimacy associated with struggling together.
Alex Judd:Yeah. And so I would just really urge against that type of secret as well.
Ben Loy:Let's move on to, to speed.
Alex Judd:Yeah. So speed, in some ways, these are all interconnected. But, a lot of times, we are isolated because we are moving so dadgum fast, and we're not willing to slow down for anyone to actually be with us. And that's the antidote to isolation, right, is people being with you. And the business owners and leaders that I meet that are often most isolated, the single thing that's getting in the in the way of them being connected is their unwillingness to slow down.
Ben Loy:Are results and relationship at odds?
Alex Judd:Not over the long haul, but in in a certain time horizon, yes. So, you know, if I'm saying I'm gonna get the result at by the end of the week at whatever cost, then me involving Ben and getting that result is actually a lag. Right? Like, you're, I mean, you're a sandbag tied to my ankle because I can just go do this. Right?
Alex Judd:If I'm saying my goal is to get the optimal result in relationship and it can take two weeks instead of one week, well, then not only can I get the result, I can do it with you? We can build relationship in the process, and then we experience the fruit of that result as our accomplishment, not just my accomplishment that you were a spectator for. So they they certainly can be at odds, but it's really a choice if you're gonna put them at odds.
Ben Loy:How does, like, having vision fit into that? Like, long term vision versus the short term things.
Alex Judd:Yeah. As it relates to vision and not being isolated and not allowing other people to feel isolated, I always want my vision to be connected to the people that I'm working with. Right? So I do own the business, there are certain things that I really care about for this business that it would be disingenuous at best to for me to ignore that those cares don't exist and then just come to you and be like, what should our vision be for the business? Right?
Alex Judd:Because you're gonna experience bitterness from me eventually if I neglect those dreams or visions that I have. What is really helpful, though, is to spend some time identifying and acknowledging the dreams, the cares, the hopes that I have for the business, but then also asking you and asking the other members of our team, hey. What would just be awesome? Like, what is your vision for the future? What do you think we should pursue?
Alex Judd:What are you seeing right now that's incredible opportunity for us? Right? Asking all of these questions so that you are part of the process. And and what I always say, I you know, prior to writing our our current vision charter, I had a hour phone call with every single member of our team. Right?
Alex Judd:And what I said at the beginning of all those phone calls hey. I just wanna let you know I'm I'm not making any promises that everything you say on this phone call is gonna make its way onto the vision charter. What I can promise you is I'm gonna listen to all of it, and it's gonna be, part of the process, or considered in the process of writing the vision charter is is what I communicated. And what was so cool is I think I don't think I'm speaking too far for our team when I say they felt more connected to me in the process that I was writing or working on, And I also felt more connected to our team because I was more aware of what they genuinely cared about. So walking with people, not just going out ahead of people.
Alex Judd:Is there anything else you wanna hit on speed? That proverb is if you wanna go fast, go alone. If you wanna go far, go together. I mean, that's it. Right?
Alex Judd:And you gotta be willing to slow down, to let people into the day to day, and to do things with other people. I have ran races, right, by myself before, and it's fun. It's really fun to be an achiever that goes and runs races by yourself. I have also run races where my goal was to help other people get to a finish line, and it is so much fun. Mhmm.
Alex Judd:Right? It's such a gift, especially when you identify this is what I'm trying to do. And so as a leader, your goal is to see other people get to the finish line, and that means you're probably gonna have to slow down some, and that's a gift and a responsibility.
Ben Loy:Yeah. Let's move on to the next one.
Alex Judd:Okay. So the next one is silos. The leaders that we work with and the business owners that we work with, a lot of them are operating at a 10 in every area of their life. Right? It's like, I wanna make my marriage the best marriage.
Alex Judd:I wanna make my business the absolute best marriage. I want my friendships to be so good. I wanna have this rhythm for personal growth and and, like, these things that I'm reading that are so excellent. Right? They're very intense individuals, and I love that.
Alex Judd:That's why I love the people that we work with is because they're playing all out in all of life, and I think that's so, so, so good. But here's my experiences. I can be a little bit of an intense individual, and sometimes I I say, like, man, I wanna play all out in all of life, but that means that when it comes to my relationships, there's no one in my life that can handle all of my life. Right? Like, they I'm a little too much if I share everything that's on my heart and on my mind with regard to my business, the books that I'm reading, you know, that what I'm thinking about with regard to my my relationship with God lately, what I'm thinking about in my marriage.
Alex Judd:Like, there's no one that I can share all of my life with. And so what I do is create silos. Right? That, like, I'll make my all in business people this cohort of people, and I'll make my all in life people this cohort of people, and then I'll have my all in church people. And it's like, what we start to get is these fiefdoms where there are groups of people that have a ton of context on one area of my life, but there's no one that has context on all of my life.
Alex Judd:And what I have found to be so helpful for me is it's really helpful to have some all of life people, and that is that is hard. You talk about slowing down. Right? Like, gotta make sure that if there's something that is ever taking up most of my headspace and my heart space as it relates to the business, and it's something that I'm thinking about a lot, like, I've gotta make sure that that's getting brought up in conversation with Aspen at some point, or it's getting brought up with our small group on a Tuesday night at some point so that I don't look up four months from now and this huge thing that has caused massive trajectory changing decisions in my business, like, I give an update on it, they're like, I didn't even know that was going on. Right?
Alex Judd:I think it's good to establish the standard of saying, I'm gonna have a few people in my life that are all of life people that get the understanding, not that they're gonna have every detail, but they know the general dynamics of what's going on in every arena that you're playing in.
Ben Loy:Mhmm. Why is it important to distinguish, like, silos from secrets? Because I feel like you could get those confused a little bit.
Alex Judd:Yeah. I mean, I guess what I would say there is, like and may maybe it's a version of secrets, but there's times where it's like, Aspen's busy. Right? And and being a mom is a lot. Right?
Alex Judd:And, also, like, our dinners like, it's not like we have a bunch of, like, one on one, like, oh, this is such a thoughtful deep conversation where we find time to share. Right? Because our dinners have a one year old at them now. Right? So I I would say a lot of times, it's not like, oh, man.
Alex Judd:Aspen can't handle this information, so I'm not gonna share it with her. It's just like, I don't know when I'm gonna share this stuff with her. So and she's got a lot on her plate. Maybe I just don't. Right?
Alex Judd:Maybe I just keep doing the business thing, and she doesn't have to hear about what's going on at work. And, it's just always better if we find a way to make the time. Like, there's times where it's like, this is taking up a lot of my mind. Like, it's taking up a lot of my headspace where I'll say, hey. We're going out on Wednesday night.
Alex Judd:Can we just go for a long walk, and can we just talk about it a little bit? And in that talking, it doesn't feel like I'm unloading secrets. It's more like, hey. Can I just catch you up to what's going on at work so that we're on the same page with regard to that?
Ben Loy:Yeah. Anything else you wanna say on silos?
Alex Judd:The fruit of breaking down silos shows up later is what I would say. Right? Like, I mean, you and I are good friends. There's so many times. I've known you for three and a half, four years now.
Alex Judd:Right? Like, there's so many times where we'll have a conversation, and I just find myself so grateful that, like, Ben was there three and a half years ago. Right? Ben was literally in the room when our or, you know, the first episode with regard to Lily's disorder happened. Right?
Alex Judd:And the fact that you have that context and that I don't have to explain that to you is invaluable. But that's not possible if I just keep work Ben and life Ben, you know, like, from each other. It's just really helpful to have some all of life people that you're making consistent deposits with over time. The final thing I would say is you need some of these people in person. You can you can have some of these virtual or on phone call, but, man, you need some of these people in person without a shadow of a doubt.
Alex Judd:Mhmm. Last one, superhero syndrome. Superhero syndrome. Let me be very clear. This is not a psychologically recognized syndrome.
Alex Judd:Right? But, you know, sometimes we'll we'll make a mistake as a leader. We'll have a pitfall, and and the person that's playing the role of coach will say, you know, no one expects you to be perfect, and that is wrong. There are people that expect you to be perfect oftentimes in a leadership position. And why do they expect you to be perfect?
Alex Judd:Because you taught them to expect that. Right? And a lot of times, we love to perpetuate the image that we are a superhero. And what I mean by that is we love as leaders. And I say we, I'm really talking out of my playbook right now.
Alex Judd:I love for people to think I'm above. I'm ahead. I'm on top of it all. Right? I've got this.
Alex Judd:I love people to perceive that. And that works out really well for me for a period of time all the way up until the point where I don't got it. And then not only do people feel bummed because I made a mistake or or I didn't meet a commitment or something like that, they also feel betrayed because I was the person that showed them I I am a superhero. I've got this. I'm invulnerable.
Alex Judd:I'm infallible. Right? What's way better is to be very open with my team, with my friends, with my family. Like, I am a knucklehead. I make mistakes.
Alex Judd:I have fears. I have anxieties. I have worries. I don't know if this is all going to work. I feel like I'm making this up as I go.
Alex Judd:Like, me saying this, this sounds like some hypothetical list that I'm generating right now. Like, everything I just said, that is true right now. Right? So I'm telling all of you right now. Like, that is all true right now.
Alex Judd:Right? And it's like, is such a relief for me to be able to share that with you because then I can actually connect with you. As long as I'm trying to be the superhero, that person's not real, and and that person can't actually connect to anyone. And so if we're gonna remove isolation, we gotta we gotta let go of the superhero image that we're trying to perpetuate.
Ben Loy:I feel like you actually did this really well recently in in one of our meetings.
Alex Judd:It's always so humbling when someone says, you do such a good job of acknowledging all the mistakes.
Ben Loy:Well, it wasn't it wasn't mistakes. It was as much as, like, showing, like, your humanity from your leadership. Like, mean, we just hired Shay, our, our salesperson, our customer growth adviser, and, like, we're working through the dynamic of, like, you are now one more degree removed from the sales process and from the conversations that we're having in in that department. And so you you acknowledged to the leadership team, like, hey. I'm I'm trying to navigate, like, some anxieties around me not knowing, like, the day to day and and just being like, the the reality of just being one more degree separated from that.
Ben Loy:And it opened up the opportunity for us to go, okay. Well, how what systems can we put in place to just make what you need to know more visible in a way that, like, you don't feel like you're micromanaging or or asking too many questions. And it was like, if you hadn't taken the step to acknowledge the fact that you were having anxieties about it, we who knows where that conversation would have gone or how long it would have taken to
Alex Judd:have it. So Well, I appreciate you bringing up that example because that's definitely you know, I wouldn't have been able to identify it in the moment, but that's definite I think that was a bid for, like, removing isolation because, you know, we we've identified, like, from a strategic perspective, we are making a lot of bets on some of the marketing and sales strategies that we're engaging in right now working. Right? And so those are our primary priorities. Like, we want to make these work.
Alex Judd:And it feels really bizarre is, like, I have indirect influence in those areas. Right? Like, he's not my direct report. We are all working on creating that system together, but, like, I'm not the person that's directing everything, and I'm I don't have the fastest feedback loop, right, on all of those things that are going on. And as a result, it can create a lot of tension.
Alex Judd:And I almost didn't speak up at that leadership team meeting because the structure of our leadership team meeting is we do our strategic priority updates, and then we walk through, like, what are the challenges, the blockers, the the, you know, obstacles or opportunities that we have questions around that we need to discuss. And this felt like this ambiguous thing that I I literally was like, I don't even know what the question is. I just feel like I really wanna say this. And I and I think I literally said that. I said, I don't know what the question is.
Alex Judd:I just feel a lot of tension around this. And I think all of the solutions and systems that we created on the back end of that were pragmatically extremely helpful. I think equally, if not even more helpful, was just knowing that y'all knew. Right? Like, hey.
Alex Judd:This is something that I you know, is on my heart and on my mind a lot, and it feels like stress right now. And I just wanna share that with you. Just sharing that was, like, deep breath. And, it felt very vulnerable and very humble to be like, I don't have a question. I just wanna share this.
Alex Judd:I see a lot of leaders facing that same thing where they're like, it just feels like I'm the one that's carrying this right now. And what's crazy is, like, that's because you are doing that. Right? Like, it felt like I was the only one carrying it, but that's only because I was the only one carrying it. Right?
Alex Judd:There there was nothing that was keeping me from giving you and Olivia some of that. It was just me. Right? And so the minute I actually said, okay. I'm gonna give this to y'all.
Alex Judd:Y'all received it so well, and it was so helpful. And and I think our progress has accelerated as a result. So I appreciate you for bringing up that example because I don't know that I would have tied it to isolation, but it was definitely removing isolation.
Ben Loy:Is there anything else you wanna say on superhero syndrome or any of these frameworks as we close out?
Alex Judd:What I would say is don't confuse connectedness with deep connection. And the fact that you are surrounded by people does not mean that you're not isolated. And so on the back end of this episode, I hope that everyone will take a deep breath and genuinely evaluate, are there areas of my life that I'm not actually deeply, richly connected to other people? And then I would just say, if the answer to any of those areas is yes, do something about it. Respond to it.
Alex Judd:Right? And and extinguish any of these particular causes that we talked about so that you can actually live in the fullness of the life that you were created for. Thanks, Alex. Thanks, Ben. Well, there you have it.
Alex Judd:Thanks so much for joining us for this episode. If you want any of the information or resources that we mentioned, that's all in the show notes. Hey. Before you go, could I ask you for one quick favor? Could you subscribe, rate, and review this podcast episode?
Alex Judd:Your feedback is what helps our team engage in a sequence of never ending improvement. We wanna amplify what's valuable to you and obviously reduce or even remove the things that aren't. Also, you leaving a positive review is what helps us connect with, build trust with, and serve other leaders around the country. So thanks in advance for helping us out on that front. Are you a leader that wants to grow your business in a healthy way, serve people exceptionally well, and glorify God in the process?
Alex Judd:Go to pathforgrowth.com to get more information about our community of impact driven leaders and schedule a call with our team. Hey, thank you so much to the Path for Growth team, Kyle Cummings and the crew at Podcircle, and the remarkable leaders that are actively engaged in the Path for Growth community. Y'all are the people that make this podcast possible. Y'all know this. We're rooting for you.
Alex Judd:We're praying for you. We wanna see you win. Remember, my strength is not for me. Your strength is not for you. Our strength is for service.
Alex Judd:Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
